Movie reviews 2014

Completely off-topic conversational diarrhea that the rest of the internet won't let you post anywhere because it's so pointless and irrelevant to anything important.
Post Reply
User avatar
Lonely Lamer
Posts: 164
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2011 6:36 pm

Movie reviews 2014

Post by Jackie » Tue Jan 20, 2015 3:10 pm

First of all a happy new year to everyone. I know we're well into 2015 now but I didn't feel like making a separate post to review 2014 because it was a crap year, so instead how about something more interesting? I've decided to do a review of some of the best and most memorable movies I've seen last year. Some of these I might have seen back in 2013, I'm honestly not sure, but really who cares? Maybe I'll do another movie review of 2015, or maybe not. I'll see if I'm in the mood for it when that time arrives. Anyway, the titles link directly to an overview on imdb for your convenience. Here they are.

Fight club (1999)
Finally a movie that deserves its five-star rating. This is without question one of the best, if not the best movie I've seen so far.

At first I thought it's just a movie about violence and being offensive. But if you look at it that way, you are a worthless human being. That was the impression I got from the short description of the movie, so I didn't have high expectations. The premise of Fight Club is a that group of people who are not satisfied with their lives beat each other up to feel better. However, do not be fooled. Fight club is about something else entirely. This movie teaches you a lot of life's most important lessons.

It is the philosophy of this movie that makes it stand out. I don't think I have ever seen a movie you can learn so much from. It teaches you so much about people and the world we live in. It's astonishing, and refreshing. You should really watch it twice at least or you're missing out.

Very bad things (1998)
The first half hour of this movie is shit. You have to watch almost any movie for at least that long before deciding if you want to watch it to the end or not. This is a golden rule, and you'll see after the first 30 minutes or so this film proves that.
Most of the time when somebody dies in a movie you couldn't care less. But in Very Bad Things, it's the very foundation of the film, and each death is hilarious. People die through a series of unfortunate events, it's a just a matter of asking "who's next?" One of the main characters has a very sensible way of thinking, and treats dead people for what they really are: nothing special, just a plain fact of life. No need to make a big deal about it. This in turn is in stark contrast with the rest of the bunch, who are whiny, emotional, politically correct asswhipes. Fortunately, most of them died. Which is another reason why I like it; the assholes actually get what they deserve.

The last supper (1995)
A group of friends invites people over for dinner, and if they don't like their moral or political views, they will poison them. Eventually this goes out hand. A good demonstration that most guys simply do not have a proper moral compass. The killers are no better than the victims they murder... a film you can learn a thing or two from.

Boot camp (2008)
You know there was a time when parents sent their kids to horrible boot camps when they wouldn't listen? Me neither. Regardless, I'm guessing these boot camps didn't help, they probably just aggravated the problem. After all, the problem is usually with the parents, not the kids.

This movie reflects this nicely. The kids are sent off to a prison-like camp where they endure physical and psychological abuse, and turns its victims into mindless drones. They get brainwashed. It's pretty awful, and as such this movie reflects in a nutshell what is wrong with society: society demands that you comply. You're not allowed to be yourself, you must become part of the hive mind, the sheeple, the masses. Comply, or receive punishment.

That's basically the message these boot camps send off. That's the ugly reality kids and teenagers faced back in the day, and still do now, but in a different form. All because society demands that we become a complacent herd.

This is a good movie, educational and dramatic. Sadly, very few will learn from it.

The mist (2007)
When you put a group of people together in an isolated place, how long does it take before one of them stands up and tries to control everyone like a dictator? How long does do you have to wait for one of them to invent or reintroduce a religion? How long does it take before they start to hate each other? How long before they go nuts? How long does it take before they start killing one another? These are issues that The Mist emphasizes. Decent film, great reflection of human nature.

Insidious (2010)
A boy unknowingly uses astral projection in his sleep, and wandered off too far into a dangerous realm where the dead reside. His parents are not aware of this at first, and simply believe he is in a coma. Interesting movie.

Apparently this movie misrepresents what astral projection is. Well, according to many people who believe in astral projection, that is. This is kind of ironic since astral projection has never been proved to be real in the first place.
Anyway, read here.

The lady killers (2004)
When the film started, I thought this must be one of those stinking nigger movies. Niggers, niggers, and more filthy niggers. I almost threw up. For a second I wondered if maybe I was watching the wrong movie, because it didn't seem to match the description. But no. This is one of these movies that starts bad and puts you on the wrong foot. You have to bear the first half hour or so, then the fun starts. It was actually very funny and in a certain way a rather interesting and sophisticated film. The only thing I don't like is that the creators had a very bad sense of right and wrong. There is an underlying message somewhere along the lines of "society's laws and morals are omni-benevolent, go against it and karma will get you". I don't like this mentality. It makes me want to kill the producers, because we really can't use that sort of mindset in this world. Otherwise, a great way to spend your evening.

Drag me to hell (2009)
Excellent film. Refined horror, but with a touch of comedy. The first 5 minutes are really crappy and makes it seem like you're watching a low-budget production, however this is just a short introduction that is better just ignored. There's a moral to the story as well, and highly uniquely, this movie is one of very few with a good ending.

A woman has been cursed for being a huge nasty bitch to a poor, innocent elderly woman. As much as she deserves to be cursed, she is in denial of this fact and so she tries whatever she can to undo it.

Whatever works (2009)
Decent. Mildly entertaining, and contains some of life's wisdom.

Phone booth (2002)
About a man trapped in a phone booth. He's found himself in the crosshair of a sniper, but he doesn't know where the shooter is located. From the very start I knew the sniper was a good guy. It is interesting that as the film progresses, we learn that the man in the booth is a big fat asshole. Usually it's the other way around, and Hollywood tries to depict victims as holy saints, and aggressors as evil psychopaths. But who is really the evil one here? That seems to be the question they are asking the viewer. Or maybe they're just suggesting we try to better our lives.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)
Initially it's like you're watching a horror movie, but then you realize that the movie deliberately set the scene that way because of the very obvious moral of the story. That moral is: don't be too judgmental and be careful about your assumptions. Honestly, this is one funny piece of work. And it's even got heartwarming scenes that are much more gripping than you'd ever see in an actual romance movie. Highly recommended.

The Guard (2011)
Easily one of the best movies of 2011. Funny and unusual. Contains dark humor. I forgot what the movie is about exactly, it has something to do with catching criminals or drug dealers. The protagonist is an Irish guy who pisses people off for speaking the truth and refusing to sensor himself. The result is that people generally think of him as a nasty, dumb guy. I really identify with him as I've been bothered with the exact same thing; being honest and saying what you really think and feel is exactly how you will find yourself in trouble, and it makes you very unpopular. In spite of this he is smarter, more genuine and funnier than everyone else who passes in the movie.

Melancholia (2011)
A bit of a odd movie about a dumb woman who is being a petty depressed crybaby. Her sister supports her and tries to cheer her up, but it's not helping much because there is no cure for stupidity. Most of the film we just see this woman attending parties and being a sad loser. Nearing the end, the roles are inversed, suddenly her sister acts like a big fat baby and the protagonist finally acts a little less like a toddler that needs a good smacking. And that's because halfway into the movie they learn that a meteor is going to hit Earth and will probably kill everyone. That is something that would make even the most depressed bitch have something to look forward to. Also at one point a man apparently gives a horse a blowjob and this ends up killing him. I'm not 100% sure about that one as it was suggestive, but considering the theme of the movie it seems about right. So yeah, weird. Overall, kind of a dumb, slightly boring movie. I did like the ending though.

The bothersome man (2007)
The movie's description says that it's a black comedy/drama mix, but it's actually a horror movie. I've sever seen anything this horrifying. Scariest thing I've ever watched. It's super disturbing and fucked up.

If there was a hell, well, this movie shows how it would be. The movie depicts a town or a realm where people's senses appear to have been numbed, who seem emotionally dead, who have become docile sheep devoid of individual traits and thoughts, and don't really care about anything. Alright, maybe you're thinking "how's that different from the real world?" I know, I know, but it's even worse in this film. The world lacks color and variation, it is like the world they live in has poisoned these people and their environment to the point where they are no longer human.

To make matters worse, they tell each other that they are satisfied and happy, which is clearly not true, otherwise there would be no suicides. Or actually I should say suicide attempts. It's not physically possible to end your life in this realm, adding to the cruelty.

I first thought this to be a boring, average movie, but nothing could be less true: this film is evil. It will suck your soul right out of your body. You shouldn't watch this unless you are mentally resilient. It will make your stomach turn.

What a sick movie.

Ali G Indahouse (2002)
I believe this is a parody of rappers. Or wiggers.(white people who behave like niggers) Either way, as a comedy it's not bad at all. A white rapper/wigger would normally be a blight, but Ali G manages to reform England's politics to the point that the nation dramatically improves in ways one could normally only dream of. Nice creative work.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests