Chewing tobacco
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- Lonely Lamer
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Chewing tobacco
Hi, my name is Dan, and I'm a chewing tobacco user....
Don't you hate it when you go to the dentist after a nice fat dip o chew...and they discover 1 or 2 grits stuck in the back of yer mouth....here comes the lecture...."yer face is gonna fall off...", "yer ass is gonna get big..." Yer gonna get cancer..."....
Well, ole Stonecolds' got some news fer ya....
I'm just as likely to get in a car accident, or shot during robbery, than die of cancer or my face falling off, or a severe case of blueballs....
My theory........so I'm gonna eat all the fatty sugary foods I can get my hands on, I'm gonna be an asshole to stupid people...I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna smoke, and yes...I will continue to chew m tobacco...at work, at home, on the shitter, or in my car.
Don't you hate it when you go to the dentist after a nice fat dip o chew...and they discover 1 or 2 grits stuck in the back of yer mouth....here comes the lecture...."yer face is gonna fall off...", "yer ass is gonna get big..." Yer gonna get cancer..."....
Well, ole Stonecolds' got some news fer ya....
I'm just as likely to get in a car accident, or shot during robbery, than die of cancer or my face falling off, or a severe case of blueballs....
My theory........so I'm gonna eat all the fatty sugary foods I can get my hands on, I'm gonna be an asshole to stupid people...I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna smoke, and yes...I will continue to chew m tobacco...at work, at home, on the shitter, or in my car.
Kiss my ass...
Fuckin' A man - this is why I've been lobbying to get your lazy ass onto my forums!! =)
This stupid society preaches like tobacco is the new Antichrist, because it causes deaths... well, for one thing, it doesn't cause death. It doesn't even cause cancer. Sure, it increases your chances of getting cancer. Many things do. You know what the next leading contributor to cancer and cancer related deaths is? It's that big bright fellow we like to call "the sun". Why isn't anybody trying to ban that?
Yes, tobacco can result in premature death. So can driving a car, crossing the street, eating the wrong foods, talking on your cell phone, and about a zillion other things. Even just being in the wrong place at the wrong time can get you killed.
Would you rather live to be 100 years old, with a home care nurse changing your Depends diapers every hour after you soil yourself, because you lived a long and healthy (and boring) life, or would you rather enjoy a few vices, and die at 80, or 70, or hell, even 60?
At the moment, I'm not able to smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, due to health issues (and no said issues are not "They're bad for me"!). And I gotta say, I've never been so miserable. All I want to do is go to some enormous house party, smoke a pack of Marlboro's, smoke some reefer, get drunk outta my skull, and have my dick sucked by a strange girl I'll never see again.
But instead, it looks like I'll be sitting here on the ol' internet again today... woo-hay... =|
This stupid society preaches like tobacco is the new Antichrist, because it causes deaths... well, for one thing, it doesn't cause death. It doesn't even cause cancer. Sure, it increases your chances of getting cancer. Many things do. You know what the next leading contributor to cancer and cancer related deaths is? It's that big bright fellow we like to call "the sun". Why isn't anybody trying to ban that?
Yes, tobacco can result in premature death. So can driving a car, crossing the street, eating the wrong foods, talking on your cell phone, and about a zillion other things. Even just being in the wrong place at the wrong time can get you killed.
Would you rather live to be 100 years old, with a home care nurse changing your Depends diapers every hour after you soil yourself, because you lived a long and healthy (and boring) life, or would you rather enjoy a few vices, and die at 80, or 70, or hell, even 60?
At the moment, I'm not able to smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, due to health issues (and no said issues are not "They're bad for me"!). And I gotta say, I've never been so miserable. All I want to do is go to some enormous house party, smoke a pack of Marlboro's, smoke some reefer, get drunk outta my skull, and have my dick sucked by a strange girl I'll never see again.
But instead, it looks like I'll be sitting here on the ol' internet again today... woo-hay... =|
I had a doctor's visit a while back and at the end of the visit he says "This is what we are going to do. First, we are going to quit smoking."
So I said "You got a mouse in your pocket? Cuz I heard you mention "we" and I know *I'm* not going to stop!"
He laughed at me. At least he has a sense of humour, most doctors would have continued to lecture.
So I said "You got a mouse in your pocket? Cuz I heard you mention "we" and I know *I'm* not going to stop!"
He laughed at me. At least he has a sense of humour, most doctors would have continued to lecture.
Always Dancing in the Shadows.
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- Lonely Lamer
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Ever wonder if they get sick of saying that shit to people? I'm sure they spent like a whole year of their 8 year schooling to be a doctor on lecturing people. The doc you had probably lit one up himself after you left.Kristi wrote:I had a doctor's visit a while back and at the end of the visit he says "This is what we are going to do. First, we are going to quit smoking."
So I said "You got a mouse in your pocket? Cuz I heard you mention "we" and I know *I'm* not going to stop!"
He laughed at me. At least he has a sense of humour, most doctors would have continued to lecture.
Kiss my ass...
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- Lonely Lamer
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- Lonely Lamer
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 3:23 am
- Location: Lufkin, Texas
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- Desperately Bored Loser
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- Desperately Bored Loser
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- Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:42 pm
- Location: Massachusetts
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- Lonely Lamer
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- Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 3:23 am
- Location: Lufkin, Texas
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