Chewing tobacco

Created out of my passionate hatred for bigoted non-smokers who can't help themselves but go on an arrogant tirade about the evils of smoking every time they encounter a smoker, this is a place where lovers of tobacco can gather without prejudice.
StoneColdDano
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Chewing tobacco

Post by StoneColdDano » Wed Nov 23, 2005 3:39 pm

Hi, my name is Dan, and I'm a chewing tobacco user....


Don't you hate it when you go to the dentist after a nice fat dip o chew...and they discover 1 or 2 grits stuck in the back of yer mouth....here comes the lecture...."yer face is gonna fall off...", "yer ass is gonna get big..." Yer gonna get cancer..."....

Well, ole Stonecolds' got some news fer ya....

I'm just as likely to get in a car accident, or shot during robbery, than die of cancer or my face falling off, or a severe case of blueballs....

My theory........so I'm gonna eat all the fatty sugary foods I can get my hands on, I'm gonna be an asshole to stupid people...I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna smoke, and yes...I will continue to chew m tobacco...at work, at home, on the shitter, or in my car.
Kiss my ass...

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Venomous
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Post by Venomous » Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:26 am

Fuckin' A man - this is why I've been lobbying to get your lazy ass onto my forums!! =)

This stupid society preaches like tobacco is the new Antichrist, because it causes deaths... well, for one thing, it doesn't cause death. It doesn't even cause cancer. Sure, it increases your chances of getting cancer. Many things do. You know what the next leading contributor to cancer and cancer related deaths is? It's that big bright fellow we like to call "the sun". Why isn't anybody trying to ban that?

Yes, tobacco can result in premature death. So can driving a car, crossing the street, eating the wrong foods, talking on your cell phone, and about a zillion other things. Even just being in the wrong place at the wrong time can get you killed.

Would you rather live to be 100 years old, with a home care nurse changing your Depends diapers every hour after you soil yourself, because you lived a long and healthy (and boring) life, or would you rather enjoy a few vices, and die at 80, or 70, or hell, even 60?

At the moment, I'm not able to smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, due to health issues (and no said issues are not "They're bad for me"!). And I gotta say, I've never been so miserable. All I want to do is go to some enormous house party, smoke a pack of Marlboro's, smoke some reefer, get drunk outta my skull, and have my dick sucked by a strange girl I'll never see again.

But instead, it looks like I'll be sitting here on the ol' internet again today... woo-hay... =|
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Post by Mythic » Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:38 am

I had a doctor's visit a while back and at the end of the visit he says "This is what we are going to do. First, we are going to quit smoking."


So I said "You got a mouse in your pocket? Cuz I heard you mention "we" and I know *I'm* not going to stop!"

He laughed at me. At least he has a sense of humour, most doctors would have continued to lecture.
Always Dancing in the Shadows.

StoneColdDano
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Post by StoneColdDano » Fri Nov 25, 2005 12:26 am

Kristi wrote:I had a doctor's visit a while back and at the end of the visit he says "This is what we are going to do. First, we are going to quit smoking."


So I said "You got a mouse in your pocket? Cuz I heard you mention "we" and I know *I'm* not going to stop!"

He laughed at me. At least he has a sense of humour, most doctors would have continued to lecture.
Ever wonder if they get sick of saying that shit to people? I'm sure they spent like a whole year of their 8 year schooling to be a doctor on lecturing people. The doc you had probably lit one up himself after you left.
Kiss my ass...

Mythic
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Post by Mythic » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:41 pm

I've often wondered that.

"Lecturing Patients on Smoking 101"

They all do so well at it, must've been a high credit class!
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Post by Supernovae » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:51 pm

Kristi wrote:They all do so well at it, must've been a high credit class!
Nothing short of 4 credits for that class!!
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StoneColdDano
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Post by StoneColdDano » Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:35 pm

I hate people...
Kiss my ass...

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Hellmark
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Post by Hellmark » Tue Nov 29, 2005 1:20 am

But you said you loved me last night!
*runs off crying*

desikitteh

Post by desikitteh » Tue Nov 29, 2005 2:05 am

... riiiiiiiiiiight.

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Venomous
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Post by Venomous » Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:09 am

Hellmark wrote:But you said you loved me last night!
*runs off crying*
You're getting mixed up again... that was your hand, not Dano...
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StoneColdDano
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Post by StoneColdDano » Wed Nov 30, 2005 4:52 pm

You cheatin on me again bitch!!!?!!!!?!!!
Kiss my ass...

Supernovae
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Post by Supernovae » Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:36 pm

I thought you encouraged him to see other people??
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Venomous
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Post by Venomous » Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:22 am

Streetrodracer wrote:I thought you encouraged him to see other people??
Yeah, but I think when he told him to go see somebody, he meant like, some kind of professional... as in, go get professional help... =P
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Supernovae
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Post by Supernovae » Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:46 am

Ahh the picture has become clearer now!
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StoneColdDano
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Post by StoneColdDano » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:48 pm

Don't be tryin to break us up SSR...you can't have him!! Mine!!!!

Naw, just kiddin, you can have his arse...I've had him long enough, time to let someone else have some crack...err...I mean have a crack.
Kiss my ass...

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