Never leave a man behind...

Are you one of those pesky pricks that commits petty crimes for the amusement of yourself and your drunken stoned friends? Post your crazy stories of public social deviance here - we promise we won't release your IP address to the authorities unless threatened with legal action!
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Venomous
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Never leave a man behind...

Post by Venomous » Fri Jan 13, 2006 3:10 pm

So, I'm over at a buddy's place, and everybody's having a few beers and kicking back... and my buddy's got this nice hybrid mountain bike thingy, and it was a nice mild night so we're just chilling out the front of his place about midnightish, taking turns riding this bike up and down his street...

My buddy asks me to ride up to the house on the corner by the main road, and see if they have any garden lights he can steal... so I roll on up there, and no garden lights, but somebody's left a shopping trolley on the corner of the street...

Now, being the good samaritan I am, I think to myself "Heavens! This isn't where a shopping trolley belongs! This is the property of my local supermarket, I'm sure they'll be wanting this back!". So, I maneuver it onto the road and grip it tightly to my side, and start riding back to my buddy's place with the shopping trolley in tow - of course just to put it safely away until the morning when myself and my friends from my Bible study group would take it back to it's righful owners, naturally - not so we could take it apart, or set it on fire, or throw it off a bridge, or fill it full of old broken computer monitors and roll it down a steep hill towards a retirement home or anything like that!! >=P

So anyways, I'm just getting a little speed up, when I see in my peripheral vision, the friendly red and blue lights of my friendly local policemen.

I think to myself, "This is fine, no problem. I'm just doing a community service by moving this trolley off the side of the street so I can return it to its rightful owner! I'm not breaking any laws!"... and then it hits me... Riding a Bicycle Without a Protective Helmet = spot $200 fine. Doing so at midnight, with a shopping trolley in one hand, and making a decent bit of noise, and if the cop's had a rough night, he could probably add some public nuisance charges on there if he wanted to. So, not wanting to bother the good officers with the hassle of unneccesary paperwork for this simple mistake, I do my civic duty - I pedal like a bat of of hell and get the fuck out there.

I park the trolley at my buddy's front gate, dismount, hoist the bike, run inside, and my friends, who all saw the cop car with the lights on pulling in behind me, run inside and lock everything up and kill all the lights.

In the end, besides my almost having a cardiac arrest from the intense burst of strenuous cardio work, there were no negative consequences.

On the way dropping me home though, my buddy says to me "Man, I couldn't believe you didn't ditch the trolley though! You carried that fucker all the way back even though the cops were coming!"... I just told him "It was a calculated risk. I saw no reason to abandon my mission, and a good soldier never leaves a man behind!". =P
- Venomous -

The internet is a tool, and so are most of the people who use it...

Social Deviancy

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MP81
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Post by MP81 » Fri Jan 13, 2006 3:15 pm

Haha! Nice..
Love that last line.

Good Work.

Cops suck.
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Post by Hero of the Day » Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:48 am

damn thats dedication. That cop musta not really cared cause he could have had you if he wanted to
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Post by Venomous » Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:19 am

Hero of the Day wrote:damn thats dedication. That cop musta not really cared cause he could have had you if he wanted to
Yeah... they actually drove up the street a little as they were slowing down, I had my theory that by the time they made the U-turn and then turned down the short side street I was riding down, I'd be safe behind my friend's high fences, but my buddy thinks the cop was probably just pulling over a car or something and wasn't actually flashing me at all. I definately didn't see no other car though. In reality, the guy was probably just flashing his lights to scare me into ditching the trolley and getting the fuck off the street, but couldn't really be fucked with the paperwork of actually pulling me over and writing me up. =P
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Social Deviancy

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Post by Mythic » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:18 pm

Is it just me or is anybody else here just shocked that Ven would ride a bike without a protective helmet? hehe!
Always Dancing in the Shadows.

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Post by Venomous » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:38 pm

Helmet schmelmet - if anything, I think people here are shocked that my fat lazy ass could actually ride a bike, period! =P
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Social Deviancy

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