"Don't go out of your way to be an asshole and cause trouble" can mean a thousand different things depending on which person you ask, and what mood they're in. You guys can refer to the rules if you want, but you can't pretend I'm doing something that is specifically forbidden in the policy. It doesn't say I can't call someone a woman. Nor is there anything else that says harassing or annoying other members isn't allowed. Quite the contrary. Venomous, my forum post you added recently to the rules gives both myself and many other future members the impression that being a dick to each other is fine. If you're now saying that's not the case, then you better remove that post again. Otherwise you'll be misleading people. When I wrote it I thought a little conflict between our members wouldn't be a problem. Hence why the goat sex joke. Well, my bad. Guess I got it wrong, no?
If we're going to be picky about rules, at least make sure the charges correspond to what is actually written in the policy. The rules don't say anything about what I did. You know what the rules do say? This comes straight from what you just quoted, Venomous, so pay attention.
Venomous wrote:Oh, and legitimate arguments/debates/flamewars are fine, but please keep them to the "Blood & Fire" forum so that people who don't give a crap about your opinions don't have to put up with them.
Is spirochete ranting and complaining about me in the middle of the thread here
, which could easily have completely derailing the actual topic if I would have replied to that crap? Sure looks like it. Does that violate the rule I quoted above? You bet. You may call it an argument or debate, I call it off-topic spam, it's exactly what ruins a thread.
Is spirochete ranting and complaining about me in this topic too?
Looks like that's the case alright. Sure, I took a stab at her first, (ooops, did I say the forbidden word?) but is that a reason to go whining about it, and derail a thread? No. You know what that sort of behavior is called on most forums? Vandalism. Or thread hijacking. If you want to have an argument or rant about this sort of thing, make a dedicated thread for it, in the Blood and Fire board, as is written in the... well, THE RULES perhaps? Yes, it says exactly that in the registrations, literally
. I would laugh about this sort of irony if I wasn't so disappointed.
Now, do I go whining like a little crybaby about the fact that spirochete is breaking the rules? No. Do go off-topic in the middle of a thread to complain about a certain specific member when it's totally inappropriate? No. Not even if I'm being taunted. That's just not how I roll. No one likes such childish behavior. Actually, you should be might damn proud of me for the incredible restraint I've showed.
Look Venomous, I don't know to what extend you're aware of what is going on on this forum, or if you've been half asleep this past half year, but if we're going to start talking about problematic and irritating behavior, I'm wondering how you feel about the posting antics of spirochete the last few months. Let me explain.
You know the article I wrote on babies? It was, and still is a good article with a lot of social and legal issues and has great potential to evoke an interesting discussion. Spirochete was the first to reply, and god what a reply that was. A sad demeaning one liner that takes five seconds to write. Exactly the sort of thing I'd expect of someone who tries to put someone down out of bitterness, without actually reading anything. After we did start up an actual discussion to debate the topic, spirochete then goes on to misinterpret my story and twist my words, whine about semantics, and insult me. Basically, she's stuck in the “I'm right, you're wrong'' mentality. She goes against everything I say for the heck of it. Spirochete is deliberately searching for any possible flaw in my posts –- whether they're there or not –- to make me look bad and complain about me, exactly in the same kind of manner like the vandalism I described above. You know what the result is? I don't feel like replying anymore. There are still more points I'd like to address, and I'd genuinely want to have a discussion, even with someone who disagrees with me, but there is clear difference between someone who actually wants to have a discussion and tries to understand someone else's point of view, or
someone who just wants to put a member down out of spite. It's impossible to discuss anything if the other doesn't actually listen, and goes nitpicking because they're to emotional to be able to reason.
It's the same story with the topic on dreams. Possibly the best thread we've seen all year, but now that spirochete is posting in it I've lost my desire to continue posting there myself. Same story for the Tourette's article. There are more things I'd like to share and explain on these kind of topics, but knowing that spirochete is around to ruin the discussion, I'm not going to bother.
Now, I'd like to hear from as many people as possible, is this issue I'm describing MY problem or spirochete's problem?
I mean don't get me wrong, I really want to discuss things with everyone, it doesn't matter to me how much everyone hates me. They call me names all they want. They can vilify me and fabricate lies to make me look bad. I don't care. But when someone is going to stifle a discussion by barging into a thread, and twist my words and then pull stunts like asking me why I think something I never said, well, the discussion is over as far as I'm concerned. This is actually a very serious problem. Discussion ought to be encouraged. Spirochete is inhibiting discussions, which is harmful to the community. How about we start addressing that problem?
There's more. It wasn't long after I posted the Nordic walking thread that spirochete made a thread with a very
similar title. What's up with that? Plagiarism? Stealing my idea in a sad attempt to get attention? It's truly sad. No, that's definitely not a coincidence.
Have you at all noticed spirochete loves to double post and triple post like a professional spammer?
And did you know spirochete likes to call me names? I'm not allowed to call her a woman, but she can throw insults my way. Right? Did you notice spirochete is consistently referring to me as 'they'? But I'm not allowed to call spirochete a 'she'. Right?
Venomous wrote:Thank you for your understanding. =)
Yeah, I think I understand what's going on, Ven. I'm getting the impression you wish to avoid conflict among the members
. Is that it? Being an asshole to other members is a problem? Are you one of these “Attack the idea, not the person” guys? If that is indeed what you read into these rules you quoted, well great, but that's not what it actually says. Flamewars, debates and arguments between members aren't allowed, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's the impression I'm getting, and I've been doing that quite well so far.
The post I made about the Eurovision songfestival last year was moved to Blood & Fire. You said it violated the rules, and yeah, no shit, everyone helped along to attack me instead of having a discussion. As soon as I started to point out this problem and replied back, your loyal assistant stepped in and suggests moving the thread, and you actually complied. It's a good example of how easy it is to illegitimately take advantage of a situation. This infraction that's being pushed on me right now is a very similar kind of situation, it's just a different person, who uses a different excuse to try to hinder me as much as possible out of spite. I'm kind of disappointed you allowed yourself to be manipulated so easily by spirochete. I have enemies who are far worse, who are more dangerous, more manipulative and more skilled at blackmailing and lying, and such people will go a lot further to get me off this site. What's going to happen when they arrive? If you're going to be just as careless when the shit hits the fan for real, I can see things escalating very fast, with the end result that I'll be gone here for good, and then what? Pray that people like spirochete help to push Social Deviancy forwards? I'm having to defend myself here yet again, for such a petty issue. I had expected you to flip off spirochete for being such a low-life swine. Spirochete is a much bigger asshole than I am at the moment. More importantly, the future of this entire site is being endangered if this sort of behavior is tolerated. That's quite a bit more serious than when one member is bothered with being called a woman. What spirochete is doing is several orders of magnitude worse.
Venomous wrote:can I at least ask that you try to get along?
Well, if in the extremely unlikely chance that spirochete has both the desire and the capacity to put the spitefulness towards me aside, and actually listen to what I say so we can have a thoughtful discussion every once in a while, that would actually be a possibility. But let's not keep our hopes up for a miracle.
I have a more realistic proposal. A two-sided reply ban: I will not be allowed to reply to spirochete's threads or posts, spirochete won't be allowed to reply to mine. Seems extreme, right? But that would definitely work. And it would very much improve the atmosphere and safeguard the future of SD for a while. I can't think of a better alternative, because at some point you have to protect the site for its own good.
As for the demand that as of right now I stop calling spirochete a woman, ABSOLUTELY NOT! Forget it. If you want to press charges against someone for being a prick, you have to make sure you're not a much bigger prick yourself next time. Yeah, I'm talking about you, spirochete. You come across like a sneaky backstabber to me, and I have no doubt you've sent Venomous some personal messages to complain about this issue to speed up the infraction process before I could intervene.
Get your act together, guys... the management of this site is rather inconsistent and messy. I'm not the only one who noticed this. I'd hate to see this place die thanks to some ill-spirited jerks and poor management, but I'm getting more and more doubts about the future of SD. Most of all, I have doubts if I will be part of that future.