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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:26 am
by Jackie
Nice... you confirmed pretty much everything I just said. Well, it's kind of what I expected. I don't have anything to add.

I do have one more proposal to solve the issue between spirochete and me, which is: I will never, EVER reply to spirochete again. This is a very generous offer since all of the inconvenience and effort will have to come from me, and it benefits the community as well.

If anyone else has suggestions, now is the time to let you voice be heard...

EDIT: I'm being sloppy... When I say I will never reply to a certain member, I can of course still start threads in the Blood and Fire board and make some nasty articles about said member. This is a great example that shows why you gotta be careful when you write something down. I wasn't even aware of this when I posted it, but now that I've looked at it again.... damn, it's like even my subconscious is genius.

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:33 am
by spirochete
Cool. Your choice.

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:37 am
by spirochete
Although, considering the situation, do you really think the mature solution is the silent treatment?

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:18 pm
by Jackie
Don't think that means you can fuck up any discussion I start. If you do that even once, the offer is no longer valid. It's not much to ask for. Just a miracle. No miracle? No deal.

The final and most logical solution would be to drop the accusation in its entirety and just move on as if nothing happened.

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:18 pm
by spirochete
I would like to see what Venomous has to say on the matter.

For the accusation to be dropped, you would have to stop referring to me as female, as it is a mistake on your part.

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 2:16 am
by SuperEgo
I think I understand both parties:

I think Spirochete is linear in thinking, and has a more "normal" approach to conversations. According to Spirochete, it is so OBVIOUS that Jackie calling him a "she" is a hindrance and doesn't make much sense. It's so... strange! Spirochete is genuine, and doesn't like to go around spamming and obfuscating conversations, and he believes that Jackie has accused him of being the opposite.

I think Jackie is a dark character. He tests the boundaries and tries to prove the subjectivity of rules. In a way, Jackie is both a lover of rules, but also a despiser of them, because of their perceived flaws. Jackie genuinely believes that referring to a guy as a "she" should be a right, because "why not?".

Spirochete seems more down to earth. And Jackie comes across as some sort of philosophical entity that is here to remove the foundation from underneath our feet.

I hope I'm not misrepresenting anybody. And I hope that you both realize just how amazingly different you are. Both of you have interesting and defined characteristics about your way of thinking and writing.

Now, do I start that reconciliation thread, or not?
I have an idea on how to start it, but I need both your approval. Well, technically I still need the approval of Mr Spirochete.
(PS: Venomous, I asked for permission because I didn't want to be the dumbass that goes around posting threads that shouldn't be posted. I just wanted to make sure. So thank you for clearing that up)

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 4:19 am
by spirochete
Thanks for your take on the issue, Super.

My main objection to Jackie calling me "she" is that he is using it to insult me. I do not mean that calling someone "she" is normally an insult, but Jackie has a very low opinion of women. If Jackie calls me a "she", it is an insult.

Aside from that, it is wrong, and me asking him to stop should be taken heed of. If he doesn't stop, he is just doing it to piss me off, which is what I object to, and breaches the rules.

Another way of thinking about it would be: If you were given a nickname you didn't like, and asked people to stop calling you it, but they kept doing it, you would almost certainly be annoyed.

As Jackie clearly finds "they" insulting, I have stopped using it to refer to him. Maybe he should do similar.

And of course, Venomous makes the rules. If he polices them or not, they still are his rules, on his forum, and should be followed.

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 8:07 am
by SuperEgo
Spirochete: As Jackie clearly finds "they" insulting, I have stopped using it to refer to him. Maybe he should do similar.
That's noble of you, Spirochete. Now let us hear directly from Jackie. Jackie, why do you persist on referring to Spirochete as a "she"?

(PS: Venomous, I hope I am not intruding onto your administrative authority by playing the role of moderator. Am I out of line?)

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 5:23 pm
by Venomous
SuperEgo, bless your little heart. Believe me, you are not in any way treading on my toes with your reconciliation attempts. Frankly I've been avoiding this thread because I find it disappointing and disheartening. If I had kids that behaved the way these two are acting I would send them to bed without any pudding, and probably a smack in the ear to boot. The fact that my beloved forum could degenerate into this with only a few active users makes me seriously worry for the future of the site when many more people of opposing viewpoints start to join. Should I expect this sort of thing to happen en mass once the site grows?

Couple of points: spirochete, thank you for agreeing to stop referring to Jackie as "they". I think this a big step. As you know I'm not a fan of this disgendering business and I'd like to request that I get on board here and also be referred to as "he" from now on.

Jackie, I'm getting fed up with your passive-aggressive threats to take your bat and ball and go home every time I even hint at the slightest bit of authority. I truly value your participation here and I love having your articles and feedback on the site, but if you're going to threaten to dump me every time I make an administrative request or gently ask you to modify a certain behavior for the comfort of the greater community, then this just isn't going to work. I truly hope we can move past this and work towards a more symbiotic relationship in the future.

SuperEgo, I see that you are a natural peacemaker and I truly respect your maturity, civility and insight into the situation. I want to reiterate that you should not in any way feel out of line with your input into this matter. Gods only know I don't have the patience for it. I just want a community where everybody can feel comfortable to agree or disagree with anybody else but still be able to shake hands at the end of the day and say "Hey, I may not agree with you, but I respect your right to speak your mind!" and go about their business.

In closing, I would like to reinforce one thing that spirochete was right about: This is MY forum, and please don't mistake my stance on free speech with some sort of democracy. I make the rules here, and I choose if or when to enforce them. I try to be fair in judgement and I like to keep things very laid back and casual here, but unofficially yet for all intents and purposes the Golden Rule comes first - "Whoever has the gold, makes the rules". And in this context, gold means website. I created this site so that I could have the freedom to speak my mind away from ridiculously rigid rules and policies that prevented me from being myself online. If you truly find SocDev does not provide the same for you, I encourage any of you to go and found your own forum. If you do, please drop by one last time and give me the URL because I'd surely love to be a part of that. But until then, please try to get along, ALL of you. =)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:51 pm
by Jackie
Venomous wrote:Jackie, I'm getting fed up with your passive-aggressive threats to take your bat and ball and go home every time I even hint at the slightest bit of authority.
Hmm.....? I said I have my doubts if I will still be here in the future considering the direction SD is currently heading into. It's a direction that isn't very friendly on me. But now you claim I said that to manipulate you with the intention to compromise your authority over me. And you talk about it as if I've been doing this multiple times.

If any of that were true, I would have deserved some serious punishment. In fact, I would be so ashamed I would do anything you ask of me to redeem myself.

But you are wrong. I have never threatened to pack my bags and leave SD. Which makes me wonder how can you be fed up with something if it never happened before? What on earth were you smoking when you posted that? Well, you know what? If you can find even one thread were I made such a remark or even hinted at it -- except for this thread -- then I take back everything I said and I'll do whatever you want me to.

Re: Nickname / Identity Theory

Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 5:24 am
by TSJ
@OP: I have had many similar experiences but instead of just being degraded each day for 4 years, I was also the target of objects being thrown from chairs to paper balls... yes, chairs, yes.. for fun...I was also each day the subject of misinformation that got me in trouble, I recieved threaths that they would kill me and they also tried each day to strangle me with a paper bag and sometimes with a large plastic bag and sometimes with a small one..

The school? Did nothing....the principal was convinced by all the lies aboutme and the teachers just watched as I was being the subject of attempted murder

This is just one of many many painfull memories (more than 40, yes its true), I have ALOT of baggage

I should have involved the police, but its difficult without proof