southerners& kiwis

Completely off-topic conversational diarrhea that the rest of the internet won't let you post anywhere because it's so pointless and irrelevant to anything important.
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Hero of the Day
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southerners& kiwis

Post by Hero of the Day » Sun Feb 26, 2006 10:08 pm

A Jew, A Muslem and a Redneck man were walking through the mountains when it started to get dark.

So seeking shelter for the night they came across a small farm, knocking on the door they asked the farmer if they could stay the night.

He replied they were welcome but he only had two spare beds, but the other could sleep in the barn

So the Jew said no problem he would sleep in the barn.

10 minutes later he knocked on the door saying he could not sleep there as there was a pig in there.

So the Muslem said he would sleep in the barn. Again 10 minutes later he came knocking on the door saying he could not sleep there as there was a cow in there.

So the Redneck said he would sleep there.

10 minutes later the cow and the pig came knocking on the door.


-----------------------------------------------

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small Village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figure's he'll have little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"

Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: "The sheep's a fucking liar, don't believe a word she says!
------------------------------------------

an idea for a halloween costume: http://www.sweatpantserection.com/stori ... fucker.jpg
Confidence comes in a brown bottle.

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Venomous
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Post by Venomous » Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:00 am

Hero of the Day wrote:an idea for a halloween costume: http://www.sweatpantserection.com/stori ... fucker.jpg
Jesus, do you fucking people EVER check your links before you post them??

This site has referrer blocks on it... this image can't be viewed by itself or from a remote location.
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Hero of the Day
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Post by Hero of the Day » Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:18 am

as a matter of fact I did check it. Using IE and firefox
anyhow heres the fucking site http://www.sweatpantserection.com/offen ... tumes.html
scroll down to about mid page.
Confidence comes in a brown bottle.

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MP81
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Post by MP81 » Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:27 pm

Yeah, Karl, that absolutely worked for me, and I found it to be sick yet funny...

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Venomous
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Post by Venomous » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:46 am

MP81 wrote:Yeah, Karl, that absolutely worked for me, and I found it to be sick yet funny...
WTF... I just tried it again, and it worked just fine... maybe the guy was over his hosting bandwidth for the guy or something, I dunno... don't mind me...
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MP81
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Post by MP81 » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:48 pm

*MP81 pays no attention to the crotchity old fellow begging for money in the street* ;)

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